For The Times, They Are A-Changin'
(Bob Dylan)
When my
son was born, my mother-in-law assisted us in caring for him during his very
early and sensitive days in this world. While she was lulling him to sleep, I
came over and struck up a conversation with her. We were discussing about how
so much love, patience, and determination was required in rearing a child.
During these moments, when people become grandparents; and they have gone
through so much with their experiences in raising their own offspring; they
have a tendency to be rather romantically emotional.
As with
my mother-in-law, I heard the same lines from my aunt; a few of my wife’, as
well as mine: “Kapag malaki na; sasagot-sagutin ka nalang.”. The English translation may not pierce the
heart so much as the word in Filipino. But this suggests the sometimes
inevitable behaviour of children towards their parents upon their awareness of
liberty and independence. What exactly does it say?
“When
they are older, they shall merely answer you with no restraint, respect or
modesty.”
Meaningless and forgotten are all the days and
nights of relentless efforts to provide and care for the child. This is the
reality that most parents sulk about when they no longer can dictate the ways
their children must follow. And they, the elders, tend to look back at their
own past and how they were when they, too, discovered freedom and free will
from the authority of their parents.
Is this
karma? Or is it fate? Shall parents have their sons and daughters converse with
them impudently as they once did with theirs? Perhaps there is no telling what
shall befall individuals. Those who may have become harsh toward their elders
may know the very same sorrow when their own children treat them in the very
same way. Or perhaps, they shall be forgiven before they do?
The factor causing this widening gap can
undeniably be blamed on the changing world. The times are altering; and with it
is the very manner of living in this world. Sometimes the elders cling to way
no longer applicable to the style of life. And this may cause the younger
generation to know a contemptuous and challenging air towards the elder.
The youth of the 70’s; with the hippies’ manner of
behaving may find that the music of the Beatles and John Denver are loathsome
to the youth of the 21st century; the very generation that idolizes
rap music and half-naked singers. How do the elder individuals merit the
patience of their young when they are admonished for not comprehending the
utilization of more modern technological gadgets as cell phones and computers.
Senior
citizens would clump together in some assembly or government institution;
sitting in rocking chairs or La-Z Boy couches and start their narrative with
the words: “In my days…”; only to have an emotional outburst with their regretful
nostalgia….recalling how they ridiculed their own elders as they are
experiencing with their young.
What does it mean to be a parent? How is it to be
a child?
It is a
design of life’s reality that a father and/or a mother shall have to interact
with their children; and vice-versa. Their bonds are never perfect because of
their different ideologies and notions. But however it is; with the impudent
and rash interactions or the more modest and respectful ones; the young shall
know how it is to be the old; and the endless line of generations shall
continue in the manner of discovering reality.
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