Monday, December 8, 2014

Parents and Offspring: The Changes and Ties

For The Times, They Are A-Changin'
(Bob Dylan)


    When my son was born, my mother-in-law assisted us in caring for him during his very early and sensitive days in this world. While she was lulling him to sleep, I came over and struck up a conversation with her. We were discussing about how so much love, patience, and determination was required in rearing a child. During these moments, when people become grandparents; and they have gone through so much with their experiences in raising their own offspring; they have a tendency to be rather romantically emotional.

    As with my mother-in-law, I heard the same lines from my aunt; a few of my wife’, as well as mine: “Kapag malaki na; sasagot-sagutin ka nalang.”.  The English translation may not pierce the heart so much as the word in Filipino. But this suggests the sometimes inevitable behaviour of children towards their parents upon their awareness of liberty and independence. What exactly does it say?

    “When they are older, they shall merely answer you with no restraint, respect or modesty.”

Meaningless and forgotten are all the days and nights of relentless efforts to provide and care for the child. This is the reality that most parents sulk about when they no longer can dictate the ways their children must follow. And they, the elders, tend to look back at their own past and how they were when they, too, discovered freedom and free will from the authority of their parents.

    Is this karma? Or is it fate? Shall parents have their sons and daughters converse with them impudently as they once did with theirs? Perhaps there is no telling what shall befall individuals. Those who may have become harsh toward their elders may know the very same sorrow when their own children treat them in the very same way. Or perhaps, they shall be forgiven before they do?

    The factor causing this widening gap can undeniably be blamed on the changing world. The times are altering; and with it is the very manner of living in this world. Sometimes the elders cling to way no longer applicable to the style of life. And this may cause the younger generation to know a contemptuous and challenging air towards the elder.

    The youth of the 70’s; with the hippies’ manner of behaving may find that the music of the Beatles and John Denver are loathsome to the youth of the 21st century; the very generation that idolizes rap music and half-naked singers. How do the elder individuals merit the patience of their young when they are admonished for not comprehending the utilization of more modern technological gadgets as cell phones and computers.

    Senior citizens would clump together in some assembly or government institution; sitting in rocking chairs or La-Z Boy couches and start their narrative with the words: “In my days…”; only to have an emotional outburst with their regretful nostalgia….recalling how they ridiculed their own elders as they are experiencing with their young.

    What does it mean to be a parent? How is it to be a child?


    It is a design of life’s reality that a father and/or a mother shall have to interact with their children; and vice-versa. Their bonds are never perfect because of their different ideologies and notions. But however it is; with the impudent and rash interactions or the more modest and respectful ones; the young shall know how it is to be the old; and the endless line of generations shall continue in the manner of discovering reality.

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